I'm not even sure when or what I posted last and I don't feel like looking.

I know I was trying to get away from my living situation .... which I have. I have made it up north closer to my "stuff". The heat has been horrible so I have yet to make the hour and half trip to my storage shed to start sorting through but I will.

My divorce was final as of July 2nd. So I've now started drawing my survivor benefits from social security which is helping me survive. I transferred with my company up here so I have a job just not many hours. Life here is different than Sacramento .... very Republican. I don't fit in in that regard. I've had to learn to just shut up. Which is hard for me to do. But since I'm alone here, it's probably best.

And for some insane reason I went on a dating site. I was horney. Masturbation is great but eventually some human touch other than my own is needed. My first date, if you can call it that, was nice. He's an old hippie like me and we jelled nicely together. He made the move back into sex a very pleasant one after two plus years of going without. The second date ... I'm still trying to get rid of. He's like shit on the bottom of my shoe that just won't scrape off. I think he has finally got the message now. I think. Day's not over yet. But I saw date one again last night and yeah, it was better than the first time. He lives 3 1/2 hours away so it's a bit of a drive for him to get laid but hey, if he's willing to drive, I'm willing to play. He's yummy.

A date with another gentleman tomorrow. I'm a bit more concerned with this one ... he's newly widowed. Married to his high school sweetheart for 48 years. Six months ago she passed. I'm his first date since high school. I'm freaking out. He keeps saying he feels like a teenager ... well, yeah dude. No shit. We'll see how it goes. I think he's looking for a wife replacement and although the overall security in life would be nice, I don't want to be a substitute. Nervous as shit.

Overall life is nice here and I'm happier than I was in Sacramento for sure. Just more alone. My little studio cottage with it's two car garage is perfect for my needs and affordable. The area is overrun with homeless but they've been harmless. The only rescue mission is in my back yard .... literally. It's a constant reminder of how close I am to being them. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks but I'm not only one. 

I'm praying for a positive outcome in November. Am I happy with the choices. Fuck no. Will for vote for the lesser of two evils to try and save the planet? Fuck yes. 2020 has been rough. I really need a reason to celebrate 2021. Time marches on and my years are dwindling.  Enough.

Peace, J.