jules57's Post

Following Up

5/26/2020 11:16 PM

I've no idea anymore what day I'm on. I know there has been no word on returning to work. I know that's both good and bad. Bad because I am going crazy here and want to go back to work. Good because I'm making more money not working although right now I have none.

A follow up to my last post .... things went from bad to worse. I had stayed in my room all night. The next morning I was still upset but calmer. I had accepted the good things coming out of getting the car paid off and realized athough I was now broke the car was paid for. No more monthly car payments. I can drop full coverage insurance now and just carry what the state requires. Another savings of probably about $30-40. So it wasn't a bad thing all in all. I was just excited and happy to know my way out of here was in the bank. And now it's all uncertain as to when or if I'll get out of here. God help me.

I came out of my room to go get coffee bright and early. William & Ellen were in the bathroom getting ready for their day and as I walk past I hear William say "if this is the way she is going to treat us after all we've done for her she can just get the fuck out." Obviously they were talking about me. I started shaking, angry as fuck. I do a lot for these two. It's the reason, so they say, they wanted me to come back. I was a good help to Ellen. I turned to go back in my room as William came out of the bathroom. I confronted him. The shouting was loud. It started with me asking him if that is what he wanted .... me gone. He said he had never said that. I called him on it saying I'd just heard him. He flipped. He told me my attitude sucked. I said the pot calling the kettle black. He said I could leave. I said fine. He took off for work. I went in my room to calm down.

Later I went outside to take a hit or two and Ellen was out there. I told her how I was planning on talking to them both to tell them I was okay and apologize for getting pissed. Then I overheard William in the bathroom and got upset again. The idea of being kicked out didn't set well. But they needed to understand that I really was happy to have money set aside and felt a tiny bit secure for the first time in a while. And now I am back to the all too familiar feeling of how in the hell am I gonna do this. She said she got it and that we were all scared and going through it. Their both working .... so, whatever. Anyway, I told her it was going to take a few months for me to get out if William meant what he said as I have no money. And that we were going to have to try and be civil to each other till then. She came to me later and said Willaim said I have a home. I don't have to leave.

Bought myself some time. I will be leaving. Even if I have to call in a few favors and borrow money. I will be out of here before winter. I will do whatever it takes. I would have never ever done what they did to someone. Even if I thought about it, I wouldn't do it. Life isn't all about me and everyone has a story. I would have just made sure not to put myself in that situation again of co-signing for someone and taken it on the chin. Never would I have asked someone to depleat their savings on the spot. Things have been calm and for the most part we are all getting along without tension. They have reminded me a few times how fortunate I am to have been able to pay off the car. I just smile and nod.

It's gotten hot. 102 today. Back down in the 70's next week. Craziness. Still searching and saving apartments in Redding. As soon as we open I'm planning a trip to check out the Redding store. I hope.

Stay safe.

Peace.

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