jules57's Post

Days Forty Four thru Forty Eight - Whatever

5/5/2020 11:39 PM

I haven't felt like putting the fingers to the keys the last few days. Wishing I had as I'm sure there's been some happy moments here and there. I've been riding almost every morning. A little further every day. Still a bit panicky when cars are passing but maintaining my composure. The bike is a good ride and I feel my legs getting stronger and the burn is becoming a friend once more. Glad I have the bike.

Yesterday started out as a good day. Got my morning ride in then came home and chilled till the hubby called and talked to him for a bit. William had shown up home early from work and taken the dogs to the park on his own because he was too impatient to wait a few minutes while I got off the phone. And this is where I need to backtrack ....

There was a shed in the backyard up until Sunday. It housed the lawnmower, chicken wire, tarps .... you know, stuff. Most recently it was housing my bike, with their permission to put it in there. And a day or two later they decided to tear it down leaving me with nowhere to put the bike undercover. Well, there is the garage but he insists on leaving the door open all day. The one place I have to lock my bike to in there he said it would be in the way. So it's out in the elements and I'm gonna have to buy a cover. And none of that is relative to where this story is supposed to go, so anyway .... where the shed had been was years and years worth of old leaves and limbs, misc. garbage, cinder blocks, you get the idea. We were all sitting outside at the table Sunday after noon and William says to me "if you feel like it tomorrow you can start clearing it up over there." I tell him sure and ask if he has a rake, a shovel ... something? No. He doesn't. He looks to Ellen and says I'm gonna go need to go get a rake and a shovel and some other garden tools. She says sure. Now back to yesterday afternoon ....

I say goodbye to the hubby, walk outside to take a hit and Ellen tells me that William had brought home the gardening tools. I took a hit or two and decided I'd go ahead and do what he asked me to do. So I start raking of all the dead leaves down to the dirt and finding pvc pipe buried here and there, along with rocks and broken cinder blocks. So I get all of that raked up, dug up and holes refilled. Put wood in the wood pile, garden waste in the garden waste pile and so on. By the time he gets home I'm for the most part done. It's not leveled by any means but it's to the stage where it can be with nothing in the way. He walks out back with a total attitude and starts dragging the pieces of the shed and other crap out to the front yard for a junk hauler to come get. He says nothing to me at all. Zip. Nada. So after watching him drag shit out front a few times I said, Hello? He said, Hey. That was it. Not that it was looking better, not how is that new rake working out ... nothing. I go and sit down at the table. A bit miffed. Ellen sees two old pastic oversize baseball bats the grandkids play with and asks if they should get rid of them. That prompts William to throw another tantrum like a two year old and I reach my breaking point. I'm done. So I walk away asking Ellen what the fuck his problem was. She just shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. I stayed in my room the rest of the afternoon / evening away from them and ignored the calls to come outside and smoke. This morning I emerge once William has left for work and talk with Ellen so she understands I'm not angry with her. Not really angry with William ... frustrated. Okay and a bit angry. I'm sitting out back resting after my ride when he shows up home after only a couple hours at work. This was the conversation:

William: Hi
Me: Hi
William: Been riding?
Me: Yep.
Ellen comes outside.
William: Wanna go to the dog park?
Me: Nope.
Him: Look if I did something to hurt your feelings or said something, I don't know whatever, yesterday, I'm sorry. I just had specific plans on what I was going to do.
Me: *chuckles* Whatever? Sure. Whatever. You asked me to do what I did. Didn't realize you'd made plans. *sarcasam*
Him: So are we good now?
Me: *shaking my head no* Sure. We're great.
Him: *looking at Ellen* You happy now?
Me: Really? Seriously? You apologized, if that's what you call it, because she told you to?
Him: Yeah, just going down the checklist.

I walked away again. I am just so confused.

Not sure what I did or why they even asked me to move back in. I just know it's time to go. Looks like maybe about two to three weeks and I might be back to work. Fingers crossed. Then it's time to plan a trip north and get the fuck outta dodge.

Stay safe out there.

Peace.

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