Yesterday was a day like many of the others. They don't change much. Ellen loves to have people doing things for her. William will end up going to get her a diet coke, or a pack of smokes, or food of some sort at least once a day. They fight about it constantly. Right now her claim is legit. She has a compromised immune system BUT this happens even when the country isn't in the middle of a pandemic. And with me being home now all day and William back at work .... guess who gets the hints thrown out as I walk by her makeshift office? Me. Today it went like this:

Ellen: There's no coffee left in the pot.
Me: Oh? I can make some.
Ellen: Nah. A white chocolate latte made with coconut milk sounds really good though, huh?
Me: You want me to go to Starbucks. I honestly don't think there are any close that are open.
Ellen: Pretty sure the one at Cottage & Fulton is.
Me: Okay, sure. (knowing full good and well I am in a losing battle and my choices are go and not be scowled at all day or don't go and face the consequences.)

So off I go. It's open. Yep. With a line longer than I was willing to wait around in. I'm irritated and have the whole "fuck this" attitude going and start home. I'm almost home. Realizing the shit I will face the rest of the day, I pull over and google open starbucks near me. And one pops up over by where I work that I didn't know was there. Round two. Two lines merging into one. Both insanely long. After an hour, I was on my way home. But Ellen was happy. Hooray. 

The rest of the day was quiet. William came home early and we took the dogs to the park for an hour or so. Then little Bella from next door came to play. So the dogs were wore out. I've been taking benedryl for the rash on my back and it seems to relieve the itching some and definitely knocks me out. Never sleep through the night without waking countless times but take benedryl and I'm down for the count. Kind of nice actually. So bed came early ... fell asleep watching some weird low budget horror flick. 

Today was different. I actually accomplished a few things. After a little wake & bake I showered, got as dressed as I planned on getting for the day and tackled the rest of the kitchen cabinets. There were only like four to go and after a week of procrastination the guilt was setting in. But they're done now. Then went outside to take a break and was joined by Ellen who reminded me today was the day I file for unemployment. That was one of the most user unfriendly sites I've dealt with in awhile. In any case, I did it. Hopefully I did it right. Then as was more or less expected Ellen was wondering what "we should Door Dash for lunch". Holy crap. I was ready for cottage cheese and fruit. One big ass sandwich later feeling bloated and stuffed, I realized I need to take control of this shit. Twenty five pounds. One more time .... TWENTY FIVE POUNDS. It's what I've gained since September 6. The day I quit smoking and decided to start stuffing my face instead. Being a stoner doesn't help.

Take control. I bought a bike today. A beach cruiser. Mint Green. Three speed. Mint green helmet to match. I'm dancing. I don't have the money and at the moment no job. But I did it anyway. Still dancing ... excited! Watch the food intake and what that intake is. Ride the shit outta the bike. Fresh air and sunshine. Alone time. Yes, I am dancing one long happy dance. I will drop this weight. I got to. I'm miserable.

Time to chill. Finish watching a movie I started earlier. The benedryl should be kicking in soon. A few hits on the pen will help that along. Grocery shopping with William tomorrow. Ugh.

Stay safe out there.

Peace.