I was listening to an economic radio show and I hadn't realized other than my daily bleakness (which is much less bleak than before. I have replaced most of our burnt up housewares and we have normal clothes, as well as tvs and a lamp. Believe it or not, my Aunt didn't use a lamp in the living room and so it was dark much of the time, especially in the winters) how truly bleak my situation is. I did manage to re-establish credit for our family. We can barely use it though.

So, on this economic show the discussion was how capitalism has actually raised the living standards of half of the planet in the past hundred and fifty years or so and in the next fifty years we would become more like Switzerland, our standards would raise and we would continue to raise our environmental standards prices of commodities would even out and things would improve on an even larger scale. I cannot prove that will happen but like the guy carrying out the discussion I grew up in a belief system that emphasizes that this reality is going to go down in flames, everyone is going to turn against one another and the good stuff all happens after that.

The guy talking has spent most of his career as a youth pastor, while working to become an economist. He said that just as things had improved (nearly everyone lived in poverty, with wars, famine and disease before the last century or so) it really could continue to. 
I mostly expect to be thrown out on my ear in the next couple of years (still haven't totally explained my current living situation after the fire, but it is hanging by a thread) my outlook fit in with the whole doomsday outlook bit. 

There is going to be a time when my Mom passes on, my Aunt throws me out because I can't get to real paying job from here (too far out in the boonies) and I am going to lose everything I have replaced. Don't doubt that my Aunt will put me out, there are severe family dynamics involved that I never considered before I had to live here. Therefore, I have to plan and prepare for living on the absolute bottom rung of life. And my Aunt is the only real family I have left. My mom's cousin used to live next door...he died in October. 
He was a very sweet man too and would have helped me out. He decided to get out on his riding lawn-mower in early August and made himself ill cutting the grass. He was never well after that. 

I have to realize that I could be put out on the street any minute. And I must remain cheerful and optimistic in order to take care of my Mom. But at least the economy could be turning out better than I thought. <3