I am absolutely exhausted.
I am a White woman.
Single mother.
Raising a biracial Black daughter and a White daughter.
I am trying to unlearn so much of what I learned growing up.
I am trying to support my daughters together and yet separate and differently. 
I feel like I have become a whole new person and gained a whole new perspective on life.
I am hopeful and excited. I am exhausted and upset. 
And yet I've only been in this for a few weeks, months.
I haven't lived my life knowing this. I understand that this is both horrible and amazing.
I wish I had someone immediate to help me and to do this together with. I wish I knew what I was doing. I wish I could speak louder and harder. I wish I could say I haven't done so much wrong already.
And also there's a pandemic. And I haven't seen my friends, my real support system for weeks, months..... some even longer. And I feel selfish for even posting this.
And the one person who I wish was here, will probably never be.