Dear Diary,
I have decided to start this as a way to share more of a personal side of me and my life. I have been a female sex blogger for over 10 years however recently feel like I have kept a personal journal of my own journey, experiences and thoughts.
I am a 41 year old female who has been living in the BDSM lifestyle for roughly 9 years. I am taken by my amazing Daddy who has been my friend for over 30 years, my best friend and spouse for nearly 13 years and my Dominant/Daddy for 9 years. If you asked me what lead us to this lifestyle I would tell you that to me it feels as though it was a natural progression. I would dare say at this point it just feels like this is how it was always suppose to be. It had nothing to do with the kinky fuckery and everything to do with the emotional connection and bond involved in all of it.
I consider myself a Demisexual, meaning to be boldly honest about it. The topic and act of sex alone is well... frankly, it bores me. I very rarely feel aroused by images or words about sex so mundane and dull. I am not a sex blogger who can roleplay at any given moment. This also including sexting or sending nudes. I feel like for me sex happens naturally even sexting and such. I would rather it all happen naturally and in its time rather than to be forced or to just be happening because it can. I physically respond when I feel that connection. I am an emotional, thinking and feeling being. I enjoy conversations about anything but sex most of the time.
I consider myself a natural born submissive, I did not teach myself submission. I was not trained to be submissive this is simply who I am and it took me a long time to come to understand that about and an even longer time to learn how to protect my submissive nature. I was born to be a lover and not a fighter, I would choose to be quiet and still over loud and bold. I am truly happiest when I am caring for others and taking care of others. This means I enjoy being domestically submissive. I enjoy cooking and cleaning for Daddy, I enjoy making his plate doing his laundry and being a mother to our children. I have worked outside of the home but I feel like this is my happy place.
I identify as a little. I do not do age regression. My little side doesn't have an age to be honest. One day I could be as smart mouthed and moody as a 13 year old teenager who is full of teenage rage and attitude. Other days I may feel like doing nothing but snuggling up with my stuffies and blankie with my paci and coloring all day or sitting in Daddys lap snuggling into his lap. My little side has nothing to do with my sexual side. If that makes sense.
We are polyamorous, I am currently seeing someone else (Nick) and have been since Sept of 2020. I don't know if we would call him a for sure secondary boyfriend however as of late I think if I had a feeling that Nick was interested in that I would be down for it. We do all play together Daddy, Nick and I however both Daddy and Nick are both heterosexual. Nick and I also see each other alone. Daddy is talking to a woman that I know he is interested in however she hasn't ever been involved with a poly couple so it is still in the "see where it goes stage" I am happy to stay in the background as they see where things go between them. I actual prefer it this way as I feel like it is less easier for everyone involved. More so for a women who has never been in this situation. I want her to feel comfortable in taking things as slow or fast as she wants it to get and in whatever direction she wants it to go. I have told Daddy that I am ok if she is only interested in him. I would love it if she was interested in both of us as we would love to have a girlfriend we could both enjoy, However if that isn't how it works out I think I will be okay with that.
... I suppose that sums me and our world up. Until next time..
Peace, Love and Kinky fuckery to all
- little one