The more I read about how innacurate the COVID tests are (link), the more I'm convinced I had it. 

I forgot to take my allergy medicine last night, after being exposed to all that mold. When I woke up this morning my nails were purple-ish and it took me several hours after taking a double dose of my allergy medicine before I could even think straight. As a result of the absolutely insane way my sinuses are formed I get bad vertigo when I'm having allergy issues, so I'm still having trouble figuring out which way is up. 

Also, my phone broke a few days ago. Fortunately I'm (barely) financially okay to buy a cheap replacement (I had to use my credit card, but I deem a phone essential). It should arrive today. I'm so grateful that I qualify for unemployment. Thanks to that we are still able to buy food and pay our bills without putting too much on the credit card, but I'm so stresesd about putting anything on it at all. 

The unemployment expansion for my state will begin next week, so I will get an extra $600 per week. This will result in me making more through unemployment than I did while working.... which is good because food costs are much higher. I also have to replace my tire that got a screw stuck in it from my neighbor's new roof, and pay off my credit card I used for my phone replacement. However, once I get those costs taken care of I intend to donate the amount I'm getting over my normal pay to a local non-religous food bank nearby. This will make me feel less guilty for being lucky enough to qualify for unemployment. 

Today I cleaned one of the bathrooms, cleaned the bad food out of the fridge, scrubbed the fridge down, did a fuckton of dishes, and took out all the trash in the house. Alex and I are both allergic to mold, and I found a dish in the back of the fridge that was growing an extreme amount of mold. We both took allergy medicine, but he still broke out in hives and my breathing problems got a bit worse for a few hours. 

Then I decided to play skyrim for 8 hours straight to forget about everything. I have regrets, but I did max out blacksmithing. 

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but I'm still having some weird lung issues from my "mysterious viral pneumonia". Its hard to explain, but essentially it straight up feels like my lungs have shrunk.
Things that I have never had problems with before- like moving a laundry basket, leave me completely out of breath. 
I also keep having nightmares that I'm choking, so clearly there is something going wrong with my breathing while I sleep. 

I should see a doctor, but I know all the doctors are so overwhelmed. 

Today I did laundry and cleaned the bathroom. We also had a 5 hour long D&D session on discord. It was very fun!

For dinner, I made some very tasty pizza from scratch!

4

Have you ever noticed how pretty water is when it's just on the edge of boiling? It looks like there are hundreds of tiny pearls sitting in the bottom of the pot.

#notHighButIWishIWas

How are people handling the shut down in your part of the world? 

Some of this is copied from a comment I just left on someone else's blog, but this made me wonder how different everyone else's situation is. 

Shits fucking wild over here. Not a single day goes by where we are not constantly confronted by the fact that some crazy shit is going down, and people don’t know how to handle it. We considered going down to the family ranch to get away from the chaos, but my dad’s there right now and I’m terrified of bringing that virus with me. He has emphazema, and only 30% of his lungs are functional. On top of that he is going through chemo right now as well. So we’ll just stay here and hope things don’t get too crazy. I'd rather deal with this than be the reason my dad dies. 

I'm not sure if I mentioned that I got laid off because of this, so now I have literally nothing to do most of the time. I can apply for jobs, but almost everyone in the state has been laid off, so most jobs aren't hiring. I guess all I can do is just sit on my ass and collect unemployment that comes out to more than I made before being laid off.

The grocery stores are almost empty. The entire city is out of TP, eggs, and rice. My neighbors, who I usually talk to several times a week stay like 12 feet away from me rather than 6 (they are still freaked out because I got carted away in an ambulance recently, and are pretty sure we're a plague house). 

The streets are empty, and people are aggressive whenever you do encounter them. If you sneeze or cough (sneezing isn't a symptom) then sometimes strangers yell at you. 

My friend, a white male of Scandinavian decent, was yelled at for being Asian at the grocery store by another white male. My friend was so confused he just walked off. Fortunately my friend who is actually Chinese hasn't encountered this yet, but she's a bit of a shut-in so I think she will be avoiding people completely (and would do so normally, not just because of the closures). 

So how are things where you are at? Are they good on food? Are people handling it well? Have you encountered anything crazy?

Since we don't have "weekends" per-say, I have declared that twice a week we will have "pajama days", were we don't bother getting dressed, don't do any chores, and basically just be slobs around the house! 

That day is today, and it is much needed. 

After realizing that depression was an issue, I've been doing better at getting myself moving. Yesterday I did some cleaning and ordered groceries to be delivered. I also finally took a shower. 

I have appointments with both my psychologist and psychiatrist on Tuesday. I think I'm going to have to ask for an increase on my medication. With all the new stress and new things going on I've been stressed enough to have a few very minor hallucinations, which is generally my sign to up the dosage. According to Alex my behavior has been normal, I've just been having more trouble than usual with memory and such.

Today I'm going to bake hamburger buns from scratch, using some yeast packets I have! I'm also going to make a sourdough starter, because I only have 3 yeast packets! Previously I just bought a jar of yeast, but I used mine up and those have been sold out since January. 

I also made the most absolutely delicious pie ever! I made the filling from scratch (using this recipe), but used a store-bought crust. 

I eventually realized that I'm feeling depressed. 

It's hard to get moving again. 

My lungs still hurt, and I run out of air quickly. The COVID test only has a 70% accuracy rate, so maybe I did have COVID after all. The doctor thought I did based on my chest x-ray.

We officially cancelled our move to Japan. More than anything else, that has really made me unhappy. It's something I was holding on to to cheer myself up, and now it's gone. 

I'm unclear if I had food poisioning, or if my stomach was upset from anxiety - but I've spent the last few days throwing up everything I've eaten, and then a whole lot of bile. 

I'm feeling kinda better today, so it's time to resume the great clean. My cleaning adventure is slowed way the fuck down by the fact that our dumpster is so small.

My husband is a hoarder, so "cleaning" also means "getting rid of things". Don't worry, I run it by him before throwing his things away. I feel like if I just threw away everything willy-nilly it would make his hoarding problem worse, as he desperately tries to hold onto things. Going over things together is slower, and results in the house being more cluttered than it should be (in my opinion), but it helps us to work on the root of the issue while remaining confident that we can trust each-other. We've been together 9 years, and married for 5, and in this time he's gotten so much better about his hoarding. And I've gotten better about tolerating clutter.